yay!!

I love that I will wake up at a decent time in the morning and not have a hangover. Bliss... and since I have been sober, I fall asleep and stay asleep.

Balancing Act...look ma, no booze

It has been 2 years since I first checked myself into a 90 day treatment center. I didn't know it then, but I found out that I am  "real alcoholic". Me? No way!! Oh, I know I had a problem. I thought it was my job and my husband. Oh, and I am on my fourth husband. This serial marrying is also a symptom of my dis-ease. I was easily drinking 1-2 bottles of wine every other day. It wasn't every day because I worked shift work and it was a bitch working 12 hour shifts with a hangover. It sucked bad! But the minute I was off for my 2 or 3 days off, I stopped at the store on my way home for round one. And if I made the mistake of thinking I would only drink 1 bottle, I would put my semi-drunk ass back in my car and headed to the closest convenience store and hope to God I didn't slur too much or meet up with a cop. But it wasn't only wine. I loved me some vodka and water. I didn't need a lime or a cranberry. I was interested in trying not to consume too many calories. Sick:/
I have seen myself under estimate and wind up hitting up my husband's beer, my vanilla extract and my daughter's cooking sherry. I have made nyquil cocktails with water. yup. pretty desperate.
Since then I had managed to put together 10 months of continued sobriety then had a (emotional disturbance) and relapsed. I checked myself back in to rehab for 45 days. I got out May 15. It has been a balancing act. I go to AA meetings but I still have days when I get real "thirsty". I have had a daiquiri here and there but have not really relapsed. I haven't a sponsor yet. I have been reading some fabulous blogs about people who have gotten sober by blogging. It seems like a good idea. It is worth a try. I know I never want to go back to the madness and pitiful demoralization of that hell I was in when I lived for the moments when I could drink myself into oblivion only to wake up in great fear and loathing. Life is good. I want it to stay that way. Time to curl up in bed with some Mr. Sponsorpants and inspirational reads.