Because I am an Alcoholic...

Why do I drink? What are my triggers? Do I even need triggers? It seems that I drink because I just want to. These past 7 days have been rough. On 2 separate days I had 2 drinks: 1 was a medium marguarita and the other a large white Russian. Here in south Louisiana we have drive-thru daiquiri shops. They are very hard for this alcoholic to resist. Do you also see how my addiction tried to minimize this by telling you the amounts? Like just having the above is not much....but for an alcoholic, it starts the insane compulsive thoughts and actions where I wake up thinking how can I get or avoid a drink? It is such insanity. I struggle. I am so trying to find a balance. And again, I named this blog that title because I want to be able to drink like normal people so I am trying to figure out how..the balance. Oh! It is exhausting. Today I need to tell my husband. Or do I? My therapist wants me to. My addiction says no! He will leave me!!! Good grief. If anyone is reading this...well I need to hear some support. I will go to a meeting today.